I'm a Fan of Mr. Mustard; It's the Best

I have spent my life searching both the US and Europe for the ultimate mustard. And of all of them I've tried -- and I've had more mustards than is reasonable -- the singularly best among them is the humble Mr. Mustard. The look on this man's face expresses it all, and someday in mustard Valhalla, we shall spread the Mr. Mustard upon our Snitzels, and together cry the chemically induced tears of joy. Even the stylized blurriness of the picture is no doubt due to the residual wet-weep in his friend's eyes after himself partaking of a pleasing round of that special nectar slathered upon some now long-digested virgin frank.

Of course those who eat the plastic-putty of mustards, French's Yellow Mustard, end up in mustard hell, as has been the destiny of this man. Choose wisely, oh mustard lover, while you still can. Perhaps someday I shall seek-out the immortal masters of the Mustard Museum to see if they are as wise in this matter as is rumored.