Monday, October 13, 2008

Femella-Redneckius, ecology and courtship rituals of

* Domain: Eukaryota
* Kingdom: Animalia
* Phylum: Chordata
* Class: Mammalia
* Order: Primate
* Family: Hominidae
* Genus: Homo
* Species: Homo Sapien
* Subspecies: Homo sapiens sapiens
* Subsubspecies: femella-redneckius

Description: Femella-Redneckius are usually found inhabiting sparsely populated semi-urban centers. Specifically, they congregate in herds-usually on Friday and Saturday night- around places such as the Dixie Dog hot dog stand, any local bar that serves underage drinkers, field parties, and especially VFW dances. Prime mating time extends from after the bar closes until the early morning hours.

Femella-Redneckius are known for their incredibly low self esteem. Potential mates who exploit this fact are most likely to "score" with femalla-redeckius. Femella-Redneckius are also notorious for their vanity and inability to plan wisely for their future(s). When told from outsiders that their (alleged) looks will not last, they usually respond with derision or feigned apathy. Thus, most end up in less than optimal marriage arrangements, and usually to unreliable partners whom often turn out to be "stealth seeders" for future generations of Femellia-Redneckia. (see also niveus purgamentum puella)


[image] Oklahoma Star Archives (click image above for larger version) -- Written on the back of the photo "1973, VFW Hall," snapped during the visit to Oklahoma City by a locally appreciated punk band.

[analysis] Special guest writer, David "The Beatnik" Spindle.


Labels: , ,


Post a Comment

<< Home